If a wasp lands on your testicles, you know that there is always a way out of the situation that does not involve violence or other brute force approaches. That might be explaining it somewhat colorful, but it is a truth: there are always infinite ways to handle any situation, and many have never even been thought of. That is because the reptilian part of our brains always first triggers the fight or flight response. It takes conscious training of your subconscious to actually attenuate that instinct to a point where logical thought can surpass emotional reactions. And it all starts with training yourself to ask "what does this mean for me?". Such a response is not selfish in the least, because your own integrity is at play before you can actually help others. If you help them by sacrificing your own integrity, then you are both doomed...
So yes, I do think of myself as a pacifist, but that does not mean I am totally devoid of violence: threaten my loved ones or me, and I will do whatever it takes to keep us safe. Like elon_musk I do not start fights, but I will finish them! Still, my main stance is one of keeping the peace, and assisting those around me in peaceful ways. And if that means explaining to unaware fellow humans how this reality really works, all the better!